


Take My Heart, And I'll Take Yours!

by AuraMaster42



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Dirty Jokes, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, M/M, Male Slash, Persona 5 References, Stealing, and dirty jokes, bad is just lupin the third, its good stuff, like the character, no beta we die like my Teemo does to Warwick, skeppy makes a lot of persona 5 references, yeah i watched lupin the third part 4 while writing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraMaster42/pseuds/AuraMaster42
Summary: Skeppy and BadBoyHalo. Two infamous thieves with completely different goals and morals. Skeppy likes to take jewelry and keep it all for himself. Bad likes to take jewelry before giving it back, merely stealing it for the thrill. Skeppy is loud and boisterous, while Bad is more subdued. But despite these differences, the two might just have to band together to defeat a common enemy. And maybe, just maybe, feelings will spark between the two.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 25
Kudos: 103





	1. The Heist Begins!

**Author's Note:**

> i was inspired by this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057769/chapters/71323620  
> its some good stuff pls read it.  
> anon author if you want me to take this down i will and try my best to rewrite this fic.  
> enjoy the fic

“Can you PLEASE hurry up!?” A shrill, high pitched voice bellowed into a small microphone, sounding very impatient. Vurb silently sighed, he knew his friend and partner in crime Skeppy was being impatient like always. He reached out for his bag of chips, grabbing a random chip from what seemed like an endless void full of them.“We don’t have too much time until the police come! Stop eating potato chips and disable the cameras and alarms!”

Vurb sighed once again. “So this is what it feels like to be helping out a world class thief…” He took a deep breathe in, closing his eyes, the bright glare of the monitor turning into nothing before reappearing moments later. 

You see, Vurb was a world class hacker, and Skeppy was a thief who needed his services so he could do his job well. And Skeppy certainly did his job well. No matter what you call him, Skeppy, The Thief In Diamonds, Arskep Lupin, F.B.I. Most Wanted number 11; no matter what your nickname for him is, everyone has to admit that he does his job well, no matter the situation you throw at him. He was quick and flexible, able to commit his crimes quickly and seemingly escape without a trace. And that was perfect for a man who became famous after he stole many rare and valuable treasures that include, but were not limited to, Queen Antoinette’s necklace, the Harry Winston Gulf Pearl Parure, Wallis Simpson’s Panther Bracelet and many, many diamonds, which is how he got his nickname as “The Thief In Diamonds'', which he decided to adopt as part of his moniker, mostly out of flattery.

Another he was well known for was his personality. Skeppy, unlike most thieves, was loud and boisterous, laughing whenever he got away, occasionally singing near incomprehensible and annoying songs about his achievements in the middle of his heists which, combined with the high pitched, squeaky voice that came from his voice changer, certainly made him stand out. Even his outfits stood out. He generally wore the same clothes for every heist, a blue hoodie with his logo on the chest, a black mask with a goofy face that was also a voice changer, blue goggles that hid his eyes over a grey lens, a black backpack, blue jeans with a belt to hold all of his tools, blue sneakers and, of course, leather gloves.

He also liked style, occasionally entering into places in such fabulous ways, even though most people wouldn’t even see! And after he stole the treasure he wanted, he would always leave behind his calling card in place of what he stole. It was a small, blue card. On the front was a message, normally a joke or quip related to the crime he had just committed, riddled with bad grammar, spelling mistakes, emoticons and small doodles everywhere. On the back was his logo, with the phrase “Treasure acquired!” written on it, as if to rub salt into a bad wound.

Overall, Skeppy was a force to reckon with. He could commit crimes as fast as he could escape from them, leaving few trails to follow. He was an annoying yet charming fellow who liked to make his presence known, yet not let anyone know who he truly is.

“Uh…. are you still there?” Skeppy asked again. Vurb snapped out of the weird daze he got himself into. Oh yeah! They were committing a crime and needed to deactivate the cameras and alarms! Vurb knew that he needed to hurry up before he potentially made his friend mad. 

“Yes I am still there Skeppy.” Vurb said, sounding somewhat exacerbated. “It takes time, just give me a few seconds.” Vurb yelled back, throwing the bag and typing as fast as he could, rushing to disable the security cameras and alarms as fast he could. “And...done!” He replied out as he clicked the enter key. He then looked over to his second monitor to see the familiar security camera footage of the museum turn to static and the alarms shutting down. 

“Was it successful?” Skeppy asked. He knew that the police were coming eventually. Besides, he had become well known across the country for doing stuff like this all the time, even though he had only been in the business for about a half a year or so.

“Yep!” Vurb confirmed. “You can now start your 24th...er, sorry… 25th heist, Skeppy.” Vurb knew that Skeppy was going to make this heist special, especially since it was his 25th in total. That was a decent amount of heists to perform, especially in under a year.

“Alright Vurb… let’s do this!” Skeppy said as he pulled up his bright blue goggles to his eyes. Let the heist...begin!” Skeppy yelled out cheerfully as he jumped from the tree he hid into the glass ceiling atop the museum.

“Alright…” Skeppy pondered. “How should I break this glass ceiling?” Hmmm…. Oh yeah!” Skeppy quickly opened his backpack and got out his signature weapons, a small scythe and a grappling hook, which he secured to his gloves. Skeppy held the scythe into the sky, the moonlight shining onto it. “The moonlight shines onto this scythe like a god is about to smite us all with their heavenly weapons of mass destruction.” Skeppy thought for a moment as he just as quickly slammed the weapon onto the glass. The sound of glass shattering could be heard as shards fell, and shattered even further. Skeppy grinned underneath his mask as he aimed his grappling hook onto a hanging light, not too far from where the object he wanted to steal was located.

“Ya know Skeppy, I wonder why they haven’t gotten rid of the glass ceilings.” Vurb quipped. Skeppy silently laughed as he shot the hook as it latched onto the string holding the lamp, causing it to rock back and forth. Skeppy was then pulled forward, holding on as he managed to stick the landing, the sound of metal clanging echoing throughout.

“Ooh. That made a bit more noise than I expected…” Skeppy said quietly before retracting the grappling hook and jumping down. “Thank god there aren’t too many guards in this area. They were probably expecting me to steal their grand treasure… oh how they were mistaken.”

Skeppy stealthily dashed from display case to display case, some full of artifacts that gave him the temptation to steal them as well. But Skeppy suppressed those thoughts to the back of his mind. He was after one thing and one thing only, those others artifacts will have to wait… for now. 

“Aha! There it is! The Tiffany Yellow Diamond!” Skeppy squealed out of pure excitement. He had always liked shiny jewelry, especially diamonds, even as a kid. Which was probably one of the reasons he became a thief.

“Shhhh!” Vurb yelled. “Keep it quiet! Just take the damn diamond and move!” Vurb knew there wasn’t much time left. And it was 1AM, he wanted to get sleep.

“Oh yeah!” Skeppy snapped himself of the weird, jewelry infused daze and got his trusty scythe. He held the scythe up once more, ready to break the glass enclosure the diamond was in. Skeppy breathed in as he struck the scythe down, breaking the glass with it. Skeppy scooped the diamond into his hands and he placed it into his backpack. But before he could even move, a voice yelled out behind him...

“Oh you muffinhead!”


	2. The Great Escape! (featuring Bad and Vurb)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this chapter before i go to bed. had to rush it a bit so sorry~  
> and tom brady won once again  
> chapter title will change tomorrow please i need to go to bed
> 
> oh and content warning: this chapter does contain some semi disturbing talk partway through; i apologize in advance

“Huh!? Bad!? What are you doing here!?” Skeppy yelled out. Vurb sighed once more, why did it have to be Bad of all people to ruin their night?

Badboyhalo, or just Bad for short, was a thief, just like Skeppy. But that was really the only thing he and Bad had in common. While Skeppy was loud and child-like, Bad was a bit quieter and had slightly more maturity. While Skeppy was mischievous, Bad was well-behaved (to some extent). And while Skeppy liked to take objects and then sell them anonymously to earn some money for himself, (most of the items he stole were later sold back to the museum through auctions, being sold and buried with other random stuff like glass vases, old Pokemon cards and other Goodwill level items.), Bad took objects before GIVING THEM BACK a week or two later.

That was Bad’s gimmick, you see. He’d take from the rich… and give back to the rich the items he stole. He stole items for the thrill of it and for the thrill only. So very simple and clean.

“Oh Geppy…” Bad said with a smirk on his face, voice lowering a pitch and strangely sounding almost romantic. “You just stole from this museum about two weeks ago… Why do you have to steal from them again? Can’t you at least wait like a month or so?” 

Skeppy shivered, that tone of voice was doing some strange things to him. It caused the cold air to give him goosebumps, even in his warm hoodie. He was starting to sweat a bit, something he never did unless it was really hot outside.

“Shut up! At least I do my job correctly and don't give the items back like an idiot!” Skeppy retorted angrily. He didn’t want to be controlled like a puppet on a string! Besides, he had an attitude, one that needed to be maintained at all times! 

“Wha-!” Bad reacted, sounding a bit shocked. “I am not an idiot! That’s just common decency Skeppy! You lend items… and you’re supposed to give them back!”

“That… defeats the entire point of stealing!” Skeppy replied. “You’re supposed to take and keep the items, not take and then give them back! Can you even really call yourself a thief if you don’t take them!? Now come here and give me the stupid diamond or else I’ll slice your throa-!

“Silence! Drop your weapons!” A voice yelled. Skeppy and Bad looked over, both the police and security had arrived. The man yelling at them was one of the many security guards. Skeppy dropped the scythe down

“Well we’re screwed,” Vurb said. “Ya know, maybe if we didn’t get into that whole argument, we wouldn’t be here.”

“You two have taken stuff from us numerous times, and now you shall pay the price!” He yelled as everyone drew their guns, aiming them at their heads. 

“Woah-ho there…” Skeppy said, sounding a bit shocked at the sudden action. “You don’t need to be that trigger-happy… you know, you guys were alright until that the new sheriff came in town, now you guys aim your weapons at everyone before they even have time to-”

‘Shut your mouth!” The guard yelled back, angry at the disobedience. “The city, no, the entire world has no place for criminal scum like you!”

“Didn’t even let me finish my sentence… rude much?” Skeppy whispered, Bad silently nodding in agreement.

“Criminals like you… you commit terrible misdeeds that harm this very world!” The guard continued rambling. “You disturb the peace that we, the police, have put into place! And then you turn this world from a peaceful utopia... TO A DYSTOPIAN HELLSCAPE RULED BY CHAOS!”

“Hey relax!” Bad yelled, sounding a lot more concerned than usual. “You’re talking to us like we’ve just committed a war crime! We’ve thieves, not a warlord for goodness sake!”

“Do you not understand!?” The guard started to sound more emotional than before. “Of course you don’t! All of you rascals have underdeveloped brains the size of goldfish! Lemme shove it in your brain one last time! Rats like you do not deserve anything! Nope! Nothing! Nada! No happiness, no money, no warm blankets, no food or water, not even the privilege to live! You deserve to die in the very dumpsters you came from!”

“Wow. That got dark fast…” Skeppy said, now showing a lot more fear, stepping further away. Skeppy looked back at Bad, who was also backing away and seemed like he was on the verge of crying. He attempted to pat his head to calm him, to no avail. 

“No! Criminals deserve to die for their misdeeds! Who cares if they’re people!? They infest this very world like cockroaches! And just like cockroaches, they’re damn near impossible to kill!”

“Bad, I think we should get out of here.” Skeppy said. He began looking around for an escape route.

“Now, of course, you lovers just like to make things more complicated! Trying to escape the law... So you know what, I’ll give you two options, you can either obey our order and be turned into the ideal citizen, one that does not question our authority! Or you can disobey us… and become dead meat! Merely adding on to our total body count in our quest to rid criminal rats like you from this very Earth and send you back to the hellscape you came from!” 

“I’ve already forgotten if this is real life or if this is just the speech the main character gives to the final boss…” Bad mumbled. 

Only two options, be killed or not be killed!? So now, Skeppy and Bad.... what do you choose? 

“Actually officer…” Skeppy said, reaching for the zipper on his backpack. “There’s a... third option…” Skeppy said, unzipping the backpack and reaching for something. He quickly grabbed it out, another one of his infamous weapons, a massive rocket launcher, and pulled the trigger. 

“Kaboom!” Skeppy yelled as a rocket shot out, jolting Skeppy backwards as the police and guards ran away from it, just narrowly missing being hit by the rocket as it went on a collision course to a wall, blowing a chunk of the wall when it hit. Skeppy fired many more rockets, the police just narrowly missing them as pillars fell, Skeppy doing his best to not shatter any artifacts. 

“That’s the spirit Skeppy!” Vurb said. “Shoot em! Shoot em!” 

“Lemme help ya out!” Bad yelled, as he brought out his weapon, a specialized semi automatic shotgun he dubbed “Fishsticks”, and began firing. The two were laughing maniacally as the guards fled and the police didn’t even try to shoot them. They continued shooting until everyone else fled the scene.

“Woooooo! Ahaha, that was so fun!” Skeppy squealed. “Did you see that one cops face of terror? That was sooo good!”

“No! But I agree, that was really fun.” Bad said. “Also how do you keep such a massive rocket launcher in such a small backpack?” 

“Magic, obviously.” Skeppy said jokingly. “Anyways Bad, let’s get out of here before backup comes. Those tanks are not fun at all.” Skeppy then picked up and put away the rocket launcher and scythe into his backpack and zipped it up once more, ignoring Bad’s confusion and questions about the tanks. He then got out his grappling hook, securing it on once more, moving around to find just the right spot to aim. “Hold onto my back.”

Bad snaps out of his shock as he grabs onto Skeppy’s back, straddling his arms on Skeppy’s shoulders and his legs onto his torso. “Hold on tight, we’re about to fly!” Skeppy yelled, aiming his grappling hook onto a tree branch, near the tippy top of the tree. He shot the hook once more, the hook grappling onto the branch. 

Skeppy and Bad were sent flying forwards, exiting the same way they both came in. While the night was cold and silent, the two remained warm, laughing into the night as Skeppy landed onto the branch with only a small jolt. 

“Stay on, we still have a long way to go!.” Skeppy said, aiming his grappling hook, this time to a water tower. The two were sent flying again into the night, the moon shining onto their faces, outlining them in the night. The two went from building to building, object to object, laughing along the way. 

The duo eventually reached their destination, the roof of a small electronics store, far, far away from the crime.

“Welcome to our destination.” Skeppy said. Bad jumped off Skeppy’s back, landing on the ground. “Hope you had a fun ride… my friend.” 

“Hey wait a minute!” Bad yelled. “Just because we both escaped in each other’s arms doesn't mean we're friends Skeppy! We’re still ene-”

“Shhhhh…” Skeppy whispered into Bad’s ear. “Just for tonight… tomorrow we shall become enemies once more. But let’s just be glad that we escaped with our heads intact tonight. Anyways, I hope you had an amazing ride home… Bad.” Skeppy then ran towards the ledge and jumped down, running off into the alleyways below. Bad look at the full moon, glowing in the night sky.

“Hmm… maybe me and Skeppy have more in common than I thought.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter coming hopefully on either tuesday or wednesday  
> also i just got up, will be editing the chapter over many days because it was a rush job lol


	3. Intermission 1!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this is a thing i'll start doing  
> every couple chapters or so, i'll do this tiny intermission thing. here i'll just answer any potential questions you may have had (with some in-universe flair of course <3) sorry i didnt ask you guys for any questions, the story isn't very developed and im just testing this type of chapter :P  
> if you have any questions for next one, please comment down below! <3  
> now, on with the chapter!

As Skeppy climbed through his window into his small apartment, setting the mask down on his computer table, Vurb was busy setting up the video encoder and microphones. Setting up for what, you may ask? Well, there are many reasons why Skeppy became popular among the youth of America. And one of those reasons was his social media and live streams.

You see after Skeppy would do his heists, he and Vurb would start up a live stream, happening live on Twitch. These normally lasted for an hour or two, during which Skeppy would normally answer questions, talk about his heists (Being as vague as possible to avoid exposing his identity.), and remind the audience that stealing is wrong and that they shouldn’t do what he’s doing. But also enjoyed playing video games, with Minecraft and League being some of the more common games, with random oddballs thrown in for good measure.

Tonight though, Skeppy was just going to do a very short Q&A session, he really wanted to get sleep tonight. Besides, it was nearly midnight and he had work tomorrow. 

“Everything’s working now Skeppy! Prepare yourself, we have 5 minutes before the stream starts!” Vurb said. Skeppy quickly took a drink of water, took off his heist outfit, changing into basketball shorts and a white t-shirt, and put on his mask, making sure the voice changer function was working. He quickly turned on his second monitor, opening up his live stream setup from there. He quickly tweeted to his followers, letting them know the live stream was on.

Skeppy @TheThiefInDiamonds  
wooooo super short q&a before I have to go to bed live on twitch.tv/thediamondthief 

“Just tweeted! Aight, let’s get this show on the road Vurb!” Skeppy said. He watched as the timer counted down.

“10…” Vurb whispered, a bit nervous. “9… 8.. 7… 6… 5… 4…”

“3… 2… 1!!!!” They yelled out, the timer changing into the message “Stream is starting soon!”. Skeppy and Vurb laughed for a few seconds before turning on their microphones.

“Hello there, stream!” Skeppy said. “Can you hear me?” Skeppy looked over to chat, all of them typing out some variant of “Yes!”.

“Ok good. Thank you guys for coming on, I can’t believe we already have over 8,000 viewers. Like seriously you guys, don’t half of you have school or work tomorrow?”

“Says the person live streaming in the middle of the night before he has to prepare for work tomorrow.” Vurb sarcastically replied. “No but seriously, welcome everyone to our stream! Tonight, we’ll be doing a simple Q&A session. I know we promised we’d do a League of Legends stream this weekend, but we’re both tired from that heist we just did.”

“Vurb!!!” Skeppy yelled. “Why did you have to tell them that…” Skeppy looked over to chat once more, everyone shocked at the news. “Yes… we did do a heist, but it was a bit of a failure since Badboyhalo, the Thief for Thrills, decided to come in and ruin our plans! Then we got caught by the police, yeah, yeah, him and me chased them off, I used my rocket launcher, he used his gun, then we escaped, yeah yeah the end. Roll in the questions Vurb! Sorry if we can’t get to yours, we’ll hopefully answer them another time!”

“...Okay then… Skeppy,” Vurb said, a bit confused. “We already have a few questions uh… KirbyFanUltra asks “Skeppy, why do you like diamonds so much?”

“Ah,” Skeppy said. “You see, I have no clue why. I’ve just liked shiny stuff since I was a kid. And it just so happens that diamonds are really pretty and shiny and I just… I don’t know, they just look nice… uhhh… yeah I have no clue, you guys. Next question please!”

“Mmm… this one is a tough one. TrueUprising asked “Skeppy, what were the main reasons for you becoming a thief?”.”

“Oh…” Skeppy replied, he seemed a bit shaken by that question. “It’s… a long and very confusing story. Too long. But to try and sum it up...one day I needed to pay off my bills, but I didn’t have enough money at the time. I was getting desperate since I couldn’t take out a loan, my job only gave me 10 dollars a hour, which only barely paid my taxes, and my job didn’t want to give me a raise. I went to my local mom and pop shop and talked to the owner, since he’s pretty old and seemed knowledgeable enough to help me get out of the financial plight I was in. He took me downstairs into his basement, where he told me that he was actually a weapon dealer, how his family had served many infamous criminals, and how the mom and pop shop was both a coverup and a way of earning extra money. He then told me that I potentially could be a very powerful thief, and how he could train me to become one and even help me out along the way. I accepted since I desperately needed the money… and the rest is history... I guess. Confusing, I know. Let’s move on please.”

“Ok.. oh here’s an interesting one! Ninjakid87 asks “Skeppy, how did you and Vurb meet?””

“Ahh..” Skeppy said. “Well you see… me and Vurb have been friends for over 6 or 7 years now. We met up on Minecraft one night… I was on some random server that I don’t remember the name of, we just began talking since there weren’t too many people on the server and we eventually became close friends. I eventually found out he was a hacker by night, and he also found out that I was a thief around my 3rd or 4th heist. I asked him for his help, and he agreed! And as you all know, we became partners in crime!”

“Friends gotta help out friends!” Vurb quipped. “Two more questions and I think we need to go to  
bed!”

“Please be a good one!” Skeppy thought.

“SkephaloFangirl asked, “Skeppy, are you and Bad dating?”. Oooo… that’s a good one! Also that’s a really cute name for their relationship! ” Vurb laughed. 

“Wha!? No!” Skeppy yelled. “We are not dating! We’re enemies! How can we be lovers if we’re enemies!?”

“Ever heard of the trope “Enemies to Lovers”?” Vurb asked. “It’s definitely possible, it just takes a little more work than usual! Besides, didn’t you and Bad escape together on your grappling hook?”

“No! That’s a lie! That’s a lie!” Skeppy defended. “Vurb is lying about all of this! We did not escape together!”

“Also,” Vurb continued, despite Skeppy’s protests. “Didn’t you say to Bad something along the lines of “Let's not be enemies tonight, we almost got our heads blown off. We’re friends tonight but tomorrow we’ll be enemies once again. See you soon on our date, Loverboyhalo!” after the fun joyride on your grappling hook?”

“Shush Vurb!” Skeppy retorted for the second time that night. “Let’s answer the final question so I can go to sleep! Ok… DumbYaoiFam asks “Did Bad and you kiss in the middle of your- ok I’m done for tonight!” Skeppy raged. “Moral of the story, me and Bad aren’t dating but you choose to believe Vurb instead of me! That’s it, I’m done with this! Goodnight everyone! Vurb end the stream please!”

Vurb heard the sound of Skeppy shoving his chair into place and stomping off, silent mumblings being heard. Vurb turned off Skeppy’s mic, changing the background once more to a “Thank you for watching!” message. Vurb remained silent for a few seconds, all 16,000 people confused or screaming about “Skephalo”, as they dubbed it.

“Thank you for watching the stream, even if it ended on that note!” Vurb said to everyone. “Also to answer any remaining questions… yeah they’re definitely dating. Go insane with that information.” Vurb then turned off his mic and ended the stream for real and shutting off his computer.

Later that night…

Trending in United States  
#Skephalo  
22.9k tweets


	4. On the Clock! (And local toe man yells about Skephalo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to come out two days earlier. uber short chapter. will try and make the next chapter longer.

“Vurb! What’s the meaning of this!” Skeppy yelled, the sound of the door hitting the wall echoing in the employee break room. Vurb looked up from his phone, only to see a very angry and tired Skeppy standing by the doorframe, eyes furrowed, pupils burning with pure, unfiltered anger. 

“Hey quiet!” Vurb replied. “Do you want the entire grocery store to hear!? Also what are you talking about now?” Skeppy sighed.

“Why did you tell the internet that me and Bad are dating!?” Skeppy said, his voice lowering a pitch. “Why would you tell the internet a complete and utter lie!? Now my Twitter PMs are filled with questions and congratulation messages and there’s over 1000 unread messages and overall, this is going to be a nightmare to deal with!”

“Sorry.” Vurb replied, laughing a bit. “I couldn’t resist! You and Bad are so cute together! Everyone knows that, Skeppy! Now… if only it could happen for realsies and not in my fan fiction and dreams...”

“Well, it’s best if we keep it in your dreams!” Skeppy said. “Anyways Vurb, I got something to tell you… our heist last night… will be the last one for a while.”

“Ok.” Vurb replied, surprisingly really deadpan and unshocked. “Why?”

“You know how it’s been the past few heists...” Skeppy said, sounding much more sleepy. “The police and guards come faster, they’re more aggressive, I got chased by a military tank through a museum, and I just need a break. You know… the police weren’t normally that aggressive. Like they went after me, but they certainly didn’t bring out the tanks, that’s for sure. But when the new chief came into town… oh boy… it has been a ride.”

“Oh Chief Dream?” Vurb questioned. “Yeah… that dudes kinda sketchy, not gonna lie. He always speaks in this weird tone, like it’s happy and cheery but mixed with an ominous tone that suggests that something will happen, he always makes these really specific threats, he’s apparently very strong to the point of it being ungodly, and he’s never even shown the world his face! He always wears that stupid smiley face mask everytime he’s in public… and that also creeps me out. Overall, he just seems super sketchy and weird… wonder if he has a plan up his sleeves… maybe he’s making a plan. A plan that could very well put us, other thieves and our accomplases into immediate danger. A plan… that could put the innocents into unnecessary fear and danger, all for the sake of some weird, distorted goal.''

“You know, I think we should get to work.” Skeppy said, attempting to end the conversation as quickly as he could. “We have 2 minutes before our shift begins and I think it’s just your gut feeling taking over. Dream’s definitely not a psychopath. Besides, I know you seem to have the tendency to overthink everything.”

“I do not!” Vurb retorted. “You and Bad are so totally secretly dating! Soon I’ll see you two at an italian restaurant, romantic music blaring from a speaker, having a spaghetti dinner! Soon, I’ll see you two walking on the sidewalk, in the middle of a cold, winter night, holding hands. Soon, I’ll see you two sleeping on the couch, your kids laughing, popcorn strewn everywhere, a random movie playing in the background on a Friday evening! just know it! I know it! I see it one day!” Vurb then got up, shoving his phone into his pocket, taking his employee jacket off the rack, slamming the door open, and walking off, door slamming shut once more. Skeppy stared at him the entire time, not knowing if Vurb was serious or not.

“Huh.” Skeppy said to himself. “That was… weird. But those scenarios don’t sound too bad at all now that I think about it. Cute, if unrealistic. Besides, me and Bad just don't get along in that kind of way…” Skeppy then thought about them a bit further. “Ah whatever. I got a job to do.” Skeppy then got up from the couch, taking his employee jacket off the rack before opening the door, this time being a lot more gentle as he walked off to restock the store shelves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really need to set up a defined schedule for updates.


	5. On the Clock! (Bad's version/ the more interesting version)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,000-ish word chapter, i hate my procrastination. enjoy everyone!

“Is the article done yet?” Bad’s advisor questioned. He was glad he had finished up that article.

Bad, being the unfortunate fellow he was, was tasked with writing… about whether or not him and Skeppy were dating. It was a struggle to write, as little did his adviser know that Darryl, the seemingly ideal tabloid reporter, constantly trying to find the hottest drama or rumor to write about was actually Badboyhalo, the thief of thrills by night. Bad constantly cringed while writing the article, from beginning to end, his soul almost leaving his body by the end. He could’ve never imagined that he would be sitting in a small cubicle, coffee cup half empty, writing about his alternate persona dating his enemy. 

_ “What a time to be alive.”  _ Bad thought.  _ “If only some young, teen girl dream fuel popstar could get into trouble, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I wouldn’t be writing this article. For goodness sake, I would rather write about… whatever the Duke of Sussex gets him and his wife into than this! And I already write about them enough…” _

“Yep it’s done, Jeanne!” Bad said, trying to hide his discomfort. “I’ve already sent it to the editing department! They said they’ll email it to the proofreading department by 11:30! The tabloid piece should be uploaded by about 12!” His advisor simply nodded before walking away. Bad sighed when she left. He really did not like this job, having to report on unimportant, meaningless things that nobody should care about, all while stretching the truth to its near absolute limits to increase readership and sales. But whatever, it brought in more than enough money and he could be doing worse things than simply writing about celebrity faux paus with some lies and deceit thrown in.

_“This job is only temporary…”_ Bad thought to himself. _“At least, that’s what I’ve been saying for the past three years. But eventually, I’ll have enough money to act on my secret dream… running a bakery! Haha! Take that mom and dad! You always told me to become a lawyer or a doctor, but I say “Screw that! I prefer baking cookies than delivering verdicts based on law and order, I prefer icing cakes than curing diseases!” Oh yeah, now we’re talking! Then mom says “No Darryl! You will not make enough money to live!”, but then I say ”No! This is who I am, not a mere shadow of who I don’t want to be! Nobody controls my life except for myself! You made me into this, and you can’t change me, not even for the world!” right back at her! Then my dad says “But Darryl! Why won’t you make us proud for once and get a manly job!”! But then I say “Did you NOT hear me earlier! This is WHO I AM, and I’m PROUD OF IT, DAMMIT! Who cares if you aren’t proud? At least I’M proud of myself, and that’s really all that matters! So screw_ _you and those dreams, lemme do what I wanna do!”... at least, that’s what I would say if I wasn’t a-.”_

“Darryl!” His advisor yelled. He quickly snapped his attention away from his weird fever dream to look his advisor directly in the face. “You need to rewrite the article you just sent in!”

“W-why?!” Bad questions. He  **knew** this was going to be a “fun” time. He just wanted to walk away, go back home and curl up with his fluffball of a dog instead. 

“The article does not meet the “Discussion Of Criminal and Illegal Activity through Media and Written Content” standards that were just recently put into place.” Oh yeah. That law. 

You see, ever since Chief Dream and his various associates were put into their new positions, they had been very, very keen on crushing all criminal activity. They often used both direct and indirect methods of attack to get their way. One of these methods involved new guidelines and laws for many jobs and media. The most recent one being the “Discussion Of Criminal and Illegal Activity through Media and Written Content” standards that were put into place for television, newspaper and, of course, the tabloids. The standards basically asked for all written or watched media in the area to always show criminal activity in a negative light, no matter what. It couldn’t even be neutral coverage, it had to have at least some disparaging remarks about both the criminals and their acts.

_ “Oh great, I forgot that stupid law existed.”  _ Bad thought.  _ “Makes my life harder. You know, I’m questioning why the editing department doesn’t just fix it but oh well. They told me to never question the advisor’s authority, so I won’t.” _

“Yeah I forgot that law existed! I’ll rewrite the article immediately!” Bad told, not even questioning why she gave the article back to him and not the editing department.

“Good.” The advisor said. “You’d better make it snappy! We need that article published by at least 1!” She then walked away once more with a scowl, clearly disappointed. 

_ “What a muffinhead.”  _ Bad thought.  _ Whatever… this is my job, can’t change anything about it…” _ He let out a small sigh, as he quickly edited the article, not caring about any sort of typos or grammatical mistake. Besides, he knew the editing department would fix it in no time. He finished in no time, it had barely been 10 minutes and he already emailed the article back to the editing department.

_“That was a close one.”_ Bad thought. _“I thought I would’ve had to miss lunch over this! Why didn’t she just give this to the editing department!? I know that they can do stuff like that, so what was the point? Ah, whatever. I’m already done with it anyways, no point in arguing about something you already did. Besides, it’s time for my lunch break.”_ Bad got up out of his seat and shut his laptop screen down as he walked into the lunch room, which wasn’t too far from his cubicle thankfully. There he sat, all alone, attempting to distract himself from his growing concern with a ham and cheese sandwich and a bag of pretzels. He tried to convince himself that it was just him overreacting to what was most likely a mundane mistake. That it was just his gut feeling triggering a false alarm. That everything was fine and no terrible events would occur.

But, even after he finished his sandwich, even after he began watching the TV on the wall, watching two guys argue about politics, even after he went back to work to write a new article, Bad couldn’t shake the feeling that  _ something was off… _

_ Meanwhile… _

Bad’s advisor reentered her office, a cheeky grin on her face. She had just found herself a new person of interest, and couldn’t wait to tell Dream about it! She really wanted to maniacally laugh, but there were still people in the building, so she resisted the urge to do so.

She sat back down, and opened her desk drawer, pulling out a special phone. The tech that Dream and his various affiliates were producing was far beyond **all** known tech, technology that seemed decades or so away, happening right in front of her eyes. She knew that ever since Dream appointed her to become one of his many watch dogs, hunters, if you will, on his manhunt to find out the true identity of Skeppy and Badboyhalo. She went into the phone app and quickly dialed Dream’s code into the phone app. After a few seconds of waiting, she heard a voice.

“Hello?” Dream said.

“Dream. I potentially have a new suspect for who Badboyhalo truly is.”

  
“Oh really?” Dream questioned. “Tell me  _ all about them then… _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story's starting to pick up a bit of steam! also thanks to junipersand for telling me how to use italics! i'll go ahead and insert italics into every chapter before this one.


	6. With every day we'll start to see; the rest is metamodernity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this should've came out yesturday but i procrastinated until today. chapter title comes from the song metamodernity by vansire. enjoy.

“Next stop on Blue Line is Station 1D. I repeat, the next stop on Blue Line is Station 1D.” The train conductor said. Bad looked up from his phone momentarily before sighing, reentering his line of thought afterwards. Ever since the “incident” earlier that day, Bad just couldn’t shake the feeling that  _ everything was not what it seems to be _ . He just physically couldn’t.

_ “Why I am I like this now?”  _ Bad pondered.  _ “That incident was most certainly a mistake… so why I am I thinking about it this much?”  _ Bad looked all around the train. Up on the walls of the train were massive wanted posters, asking for any tips or information on Skeppy and Bad’s identities. Bad looked over to an old man nearby, reading a newspaper, the front page headline reading “Skeppy Breaks Into Museum, Gets Into Shoot Out With Local Police Alongside Bad!”. He then looks out the train window, only to see a massive billboard, once again asking for more information about Skeppy and Bad’s identity.

_ “Oh yeah.”  _ Bad thought.  _ “I’m a part-time thief trying to hide from law enforcement. But that still doesn’t really solve my question. My identity is so well hidden, for goodness sake they don’t even know what gender I am… which is kind of stupid now that I think about it. I mean… it’s pretty obvious that I’m a boy… but why am I feeling this… fear? Maybe… just maybe… they know more than what I let on? Hmm… now that I think about it, I have had some pretty… suspicious encounters with my advisor…” _

_ Many memories popped back into Bad’s head; he could remember each and every one of them so, so very well. He went through them one by one, trying to remember each and every odd detail. _

_ The first that came up was a small incident involving coffee, just a simple mistake that happened while Bad was getting coffee for his advisor, the barista accidentally put too much cream into her coffee. But, for some reason, his advisor treated it like she was getting poisoned by him for no clear reason, and didn’t speak to him for two weeks, only giving him death glares every time she saw him.  _

_ The second one was odd, he saw two mysterious men walk into the advisor’s office, one of them having a really, really pale skin tone, with short dark brown hair, wearing a massive pair of white sunglasses, a blue t-shirt and dark black jeans, with the other being a lot more tanned, with black hair being held up by a white headband, an oversized white t-shirt with some kind of flame decal on it, a black undershirt, and black jeans. Later on, when he asked the advisor who were the mysterious men, he got absolutely no answer, and was also given a business card for a local mental hospital. He threw away the card into a recycle bin after work. Throughout the rest of the week, she asked him if he had visited the facility yet, which he would reply honestly with a no. She always seemed shocked by answer, as if it was normal for people to go to mental hospitals after asking about mysterious men. _

_ The third and last one was the weirdest of them all, he got sent to the advisor’s office because of a rumor that had been floating around his workspace that  _ **_he was_ ** _ Badboyhalo. When he got there, the police had shown up, ready to take notes. Of course, he repeatedly denied the claims, but his advisor wouldn’t believe his claims. She kept the pressure on, constantly asking the same questions over and over again, asking even stranger questions about his life, and even asked at one point for him to hand over his bank information. But eventually, after about 4 hours of questioning, he was let free, and the police went back empty handed. She always threatened for a while afterwards that there would be a second questioning, but that never happened, _

  
_ “Hmmm…”  _ Bad wondered. _ “Do any of these encounters mean anything or am I overthinking this? Well, if I combined all of these incidents, including the one from today, I could potentially pinpoint a few common concepts. First one being, obviously, that it mainly involves me and my advisor, there is normally no one else that has majorly involved except for the police. Secondly, it involves my advisor overreacting to basic questions and mistakes. And thirdly, she always seems to hate me for an extended period of time afterwards. But that still doesn’t solve my question! I cannot exactly link any of these incidents and their aftermath to whether or not they have more information on me. Besides, even if I could, there would still be holes in the theory! So you know what, I think I should just forget about everything that I just thought about and keep on living the life I want to live, free of fear!”  _ Bad put on some headphones, opened Spotify, and let himself daydream away to a different world. But deep, deep down in his head, his brain was starting to get to work, attempting to piece every single part of this massive puzzle together. While Bad might’ve seen it as the beginning of the end for this puzzle-solving mystery, it was really only just the start of this complex mystery.

_ Meanwhile... _

"George, I think we've just gotten a big break on our manhunt."

"Wait, really?" George said, confused. 

"Yep." Dream replied. "We think we've just found the identity of who Badboyhalo is."

"Ohhoho..." George laughed. "Tell me _all_ of the details..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i like cliffhangers. i like them too much.

**Author's Note:**

> guess who just infiltrated skeppys heist ooooooo  
> also all i can hear when reading skeppy lines is omega squad teemo lol  
> like watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9FrWZyswIQ&t and then read skeppys lines back to back while imaging omega squads voice omg it fits so well.  
> doesnt help that i actually main teemo in league haha i swear thats just a coincidence  
> trying to find a league champion voice for bad but i cant please help me.  
> hoped you like the first chapter and please give me constructive criticism in the comments below  
> i still don’t know how to do italics and bold text


End file.
